Sean Rosemary Ward

I Am Not A Robot

2010-03-18T21:25:00.000-07:00

I found this song on one of my new favorite music websites: hypem.com
It is called "I Am Not A Robot" by Marina and the Diamonds. I suggest everyone listen.
I used to think of it in the context that the singer was singing about someone else, but now I hear it in the first person as the singer is singing about herself and I can totally relate!! I feel like I have changed in soooo many ways in such a short amount of time and I don't know why and I don't know what to think of it. I went from a crazy/party 4 times a week lifestyle to a work/school/maybe party once a week lifestyle. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE this new me but the change has been so drastic that it is hard to adjust. Once of my roommates just got her mission call and it made me question my faith in the church. Seeing how much it meant to her made me bawl my eyes out afterwards. I think being born and raised in the church has made me who I am today. However, I do not necessarily like the "robots" that it makes some people. I have had a real hard time with some super judgemental people and it makes me think badly of the church even though I should blame the individual, not the church. It has just been such an amazing learning experience lately and I LOVE learning. I apologize to everyone if I have seemed standoffish lately, I'm just adjusting. I have never wanted to go home to my mommy so bad in my life as I do right now.

Countdowns

2010-03-06T12:31:00.000-08:00

67 days until Pike Lake Powell!!!!

15 days until the Mexican Riviera Cruise!!!!

Tumblr

2010-03-02T16:27:00.000-08:00

Caved into Tumblr. Still figuring it out...

http://seanski.tumblr.com/

Best Friend

2010-02-28T11:29:00.000-08:00

I have the best friend in the entire world.

Erik James Tedford

Yes, it sounds cliche seeing as how he is my boyfriend, but he honestly is the most amazing person. We have been together for a year as of today and I have learned to much about myself in this past year and made some of the best memories. He is the most intelligent guy ever (I always brag that he was valedictorian). He has the BEST advice and knows how to make me feel better about a bad situation. We have both helped each other in so many ways. We have had our ups and downs. We are soooo alike it's not even funny. I think this is why we argue so much but I'd be worried if we didn't. He keeps me on my feet on that's exactly what I need because I hate monotony. His mom, dad, and sister are the kindest most down to earth people I have ever met.

Anyways, for our one year anniversary last night we went to Ghidotti's in Park City and it was delicious! He got me the best card that sums up our relationship perfectly and he got me $50 to lululemon.

I could ramble on forever about Erik but I won't. He is wonderful!!

Tabasco Sauce is Flossy

2010-02-20T14:44:00.000-08:00

I have always been a huge fan of spicy foods and growing up in New Mexico, aka the Land of Enchantment, was a plus with the plethora of Mexican food. However, it wasn't until this past October or so that I began putting Tabasco Sauce on my food. Sometimes my food is just too bland without some saucy sauce hottie hot. This addiction has escalated and now it seems I literally douse my food with the stuff and eat until I'm sweating and my nose is running and I love it. I go through so much Tabasco Sauce that last week my roommate Dylan talked me into stealing a bottle from Barbacoa (our neighbor). I also came up with the hypothesis that the more I eat spicy stuff, the less I can handle eating sour foods. For example, the other day I ate a strawberry and had to spit it out because it was so sour and made my mouth water like crazy. This is depressing because I really like strawberries.
I have been really into the Travel Channel lately and they have all these crazy food challenges. There are lots of flaming hot buffalo wing challenges where they use the hottest chili possible (including the infamous "ghost chili") and you have to eat a certain amount in a certain time frame and can't drink milk or water. My boyfriend informed me of a similar challenge in Utah at the Wing Coop. I am seriously considering taking on this challenge.

Goodbye ABQ. Hello SLC

2009-08-08T22:40:00.000-07:00

So after a seemingly neverending summer back in the Land of Enchantment, I am heading back to Utah. It has been a good and somewhat relaxing summer. It has definitely been good being home even though I was miserable in the beginning. I got to be a bridesmaid in one of my best friends wedding. It is always good seeing old friends and reliving pastimes. I lucked out with the kids I nannied and babysat. I also got along great with my brothers and we had a lot of fun. I definitely missed my dad's wonderful cooking while I was in Utah and my mom's excellent shoulder massages.

Albuquerque... well New Mexico in general, is truly a beautiful place. Not to mention some of the best food in the world my favorites being red chili enchiladas and sopapillas. Some of my favorite things for the great memories in NM include:

Cliff jumping and camping in the Jemez and getting Indian fry bread on the way back

Shopping, eating, the Indian vendors and sight seeing in Sante Fe

The Sandia Mountains

The Tram

Dion's & Dion's ranch

Taco Cabana

Scarpas

The Rio Grande river

The Balloon Fiesta

The arroyos & goatheads (because no on in Utah seems to know what either of these are)

Golden Pride burritos and cinnamon rolls

Los Cuates & their salsa

Saggio's

The shops and people on Central (Route 66)

Eldorado High School

Sandra's School of Dance

Isotope's games

The Pit

The KiMo theater. It's haunted and has a shrine

The stucco houses

Hiking

The sunsets

Pop Pop's Italian Ice, Trader Joe's, hearing coyotes at night, and many more...

So You Think You Can Dance

2009-08-08T21:50:00.000-07:00

First off, this show is easily my favorite show ever created. It is so inspirational and I get chills every single episode and remember why I love to dance. I didn't watch the first season but the second was awesome! Benji, a LDS swing dancer, won which was amazing. Travis Wall was also in season 2 and choreographed some of the best dances on season 5.

I loved season 3 because Benji's sister, Lacey, was on the show and made it to the top 4. My other favorites included Neil and Lauren because I knew Lauren because I competed with her at West Coast Dance Explosion in Phoenix and Las Vegas. She was also a model in the Katrinawear magazine I get and she danced at a studio called Dance Connection in AZ and my studio, Sandra's School of Dance & Gymnastics, used to fly Lori, the owner of Dance Connection, out to choreograph dances for us. Sabra, who is from Utah, was the winner of this season and I was so happy.

Season 4 is my second favorite season to the fifth. Matt Dorame, also from Dance Connection, was on it. Not to mention he was on my freaking flight from ABQ to SLC this summer!! He currently dances for Odyssey Dance in SLC and my aunt took me to go watch him last year. Another one of my favorites was Kherington. Although she didn't make it to the top 4, which she deserved, she is the star in the upcoming movie Fame. I also really liked Twitch because he was the total underdog not having any formal training and being a hip-hop dancer and he made it to the top 4. I thought Katee should have won but Joshua did.

Season 5 of So You Think You Can Dance has come to an end. I have to say I am happy with the results but I still wish Kayla had gotten higher than 4th because any dancer can appreciate her true talent and passion. Also, I may be a little biased because I have personally met Kayla. We used to compete at the same Showbiz competition in Denver and I have seen her modeling dance clothes in Dance Spirit. I am definitely glad a girl won this season because I thought the girls were way more talented than most of the guys. However, I did love Ade, Jason, and Brandon. During the first episodes of the auditions I knew one of the dancers. Her name is Gabi and she danced at my rival studio, Fishback's, in ABQ. Her mom was my modern teacher at Sandra's for a while. I absolutely LOVE seeing people I know on the show and it makes the show so much more personal. I can't sit through an episode without getting chills and wishing more than anything I was still dancing. My favorite part would be when the camera would pan behind the dancers while they were performing and you could see the audience because it reminds me of being on stage which is the best feeling ever.

My favorite choreographers are Mia Michaels, Wade Robson, Tyce Diorio, Tabitha & Napolean, Shane Sparks, and new favorite Travis Wall. I'm sure there are others that I can't think of right now. When I was younger we would go to Tremaine competitions and conventions where Wade was choroegraphing and I have a picture of me with him :) Also, when I was 10 years old I made it to the top 10 out of 500 in the auditions and Wade was the choreographer. I love Wade.

Sorry this has been so darn long. Dance has been a huge part of my life for the past 18 years and always will be. I would spend more time at the studio and with my friends there than I would with my family or school friends. No one besides my fellow dancers understood why. Those were the best years of my life and the best memories. We were all so close. I remember going to conventions and when there was a ballet or tap class we would go hide in the bathrooms and try not to get caught. There were different rooms for the different age groups with guards sitting out front because you had to pay for the conventions and wear colored wristbands for your age group and we would always try and sneak in with the older girls. I have about 12908731902 more memories but this has been long enough haha. Dance is my favorite thing ever. No amount of words can describe my amazing memories.

Some old pictures I found on my mom's facebook.

My best friend Kara and me at a competition

Me in Vegas for a convention/competition

August

2009-08-01T21:05:00.000-07:00

After much anticipation, it is finally August! Soooo much to look forward to this month. I see Goose in 8 days and I go back to Utah (and leave boring ABQ, NM) in 9 days. I used to be excited to see Erik in 10 days but because of recent events I'm not so excited and I'm not going to make the effort to see him. If that cheater wants to see me he can do the work. I have been talking to my best friends in Utah about it and they are better than any boyfriend I could ever have and I love and appreciate them so much. Anyways... So You Think You Can Dance finale next week, my brother's 19 birthday is August 11, we are having a Crew 22 dinner and block party and move into the deeg on the 21, recruitment workshop and Pi Kappa Alpha ABC party on the 22 and believe it or not I am excited for school to start on the 24 and then recruitment starts the 29! It is going to be a great month and I can't wait for the few weeks I have to just relax and hang out with my friends before school starts. Unfortunately, since I am not doing Crimson Line this year I have to find a job so I can have the cash flowwww.

Oh and I got my hurr did, just a trim and I got bangs and it's darker AND I finished my Sudoku book of 320 puzzles. Hah!

HOORAY FOR AUGUST!!

The Countdown Has Begun

2009-07-27T23:52:00.000-07:00

It's official.

14 days until I am back in Utah!!

I am so excited & I really can't wait to move back into the deeg but it will be weird without Sabina. I wonder who the new house mom will be... I can't wait to see all my DG's and especially the most amazing Crew 22. My brother left today for Utah to start soccer practice so it's just me and the other bro here. I went to the Hanu Reggae Fest yesterday and it was a blast! It was out on a reservation so we were literally the only white people there but it was so fun. I saw B.T.K tonight. It's based on the B.T.K serial killer so it was pretty scary that that stuff really happened to women! Now for another countdown. Andrew (Goose) my ex-boyfriend comes home in 13 days and we are going to hang out and go see his new house in Bernalillo. I am pretty nervous to see him after everything that has happened but I think it's good to stay friends. Then in 15 days I get to see ERIK & spend some time in beautiful Park City!! We will only have a little more than a month before he leaves so we have to make the best of it.

"In This City"

2009-07-23T21:50:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is my last day nannying. Alex, Nick, Will and Madison Meliville were easily my favorite kids EVER to nanny. It's a small world that they are my next door neighbors and in my Ward and the boys are fraternal triplettes. I love it because they each have their own personality and I have loved getting to know each of them and I do have a favorite (which I'm not telling). I can't express how lucky I am to have gotten to play with them all summer. Best job ever. What makes it even more unbelievable is that their Uncle Andrew is a year or two older than me and is a PIKE at the U with me and I know him. These boys and Madison have been the highlight of my summer. I couldn't have asked for anything better. Now I can't wait to go back to Utah on August 10. I belong in Utah. I have been lucky enough to gain the BEST friendships of my life there and create the most amazing memories ever. I have grown and learned more than I ever thought possible there and I know I was meant to be in SLC. DG for life!!! Over my time in the lonely state of New Mexico I have had adundant time to listen to music (which I don't mind seeing as how music always seems to know how I'm feeling and I can dance and be happy to any form of music as long as it inspires me, which is why I love dance). Anyways... 17 and a half days until happiness and I can't wait. I also can't wait to see Erik and be with him for one more month before he leaves.

PS next post will be only lyrics that take the words right out of my mouth but here are some wise words to satiate the thirst and show you a little of how I'm feeling.

"In This City" - Iglu & Hartly

You came in to my life
You cannot separate yourself
You came in to my life
You cannot separate yourself

(Chorus) And I found that round here In this city
That I wont disappear
In this city I got nothing to fear
In this city, In this city
Close those doors Close those doors now
Now, now, just keep em open
Keep em open
Yea, keep em open
Ill keep on, keep keep on going
Taking it in so, so heavy
Take it easy son, this aint so deadly
Got keep on, gotta go on, gotta go on
Take it all with what weve done
Gotta push it push it push it
To the top of the building
Even when no one is feeling
It might bother you
Dont let it If these people just dont get it
They cant express it
They wont accept it
She said its okay that they may never give you that credit.
(Chorus) And I found that round here
In this city
That I wont disappear
In this city
I got nothing to fear
In this city,
In this city
Ive been down here
Down these roads
People pass through
Some stay some go
Standing here broke
Not a penny to my name
But she says she loves me all the same
I try my best
And you do to
And all you want is something you can move to
Everybodys gotta get their kicks somewhere
Everybody gotta fit in somewhere
Theres, an open road
And Im traveling down
Dont know where to go
But I lock and load
Shoot that sky till the moon explode
Moon explode
Now were laying in a field
White flowers on our backs
Talking bout home
But we cant go back
I guess thats why we left
So we could take a step
Keep moving and forget the rest.
You came in to my life
You cannot separate yourself
You came in to my life
You cannot separate yourself
(Chorus)
And I found that round here
In this city
That I wont disappear
In this city
I got nothing to fear In this city,
In this city

Ohhh Yeaaa

2009-07-08T17:07:00.000-07:00

Things have been going really well lately! I absolutely LOVE nannying and I got to babysit my favorite 4 kids from my ward and I had a blast. I have been getting along so well with my family too. My dad just got an iphone and is totally rubbing it in my face seeing as how I've had my Blackberry for over two years. Don't get me wrong, I love the berry but it's time for an upgrade. My younger brother (by 15 months), Bobby, got his wisdom teeth out on Monday and he is doing well but sooooo swollen. I feel bad but I can't stop laughing. I just found my old phone and HAD to upload the pictures on facebook. Such good memories, mostly of dance which basically was my life for at least 10 years. Speaking of dance... So You Think You Can Dance is easily the best show ever created. I love knowing people on the show and I miss dance so so so much. Also, I really really love my boyfriend :)

Figuring It Out

2009-07-01T22:40:00.000-07:00

The past year and summer so far have been a bit challenging yet full of great and unforgetable. I used to know EXACTLY what I wanted to do with my life but lately I haven't been so sure. This year has had it's ups and downs and I have learned more about myself that I have the previous 19 years. I used to know that I wanted to go to a good college and graduate and go to medical school and become a pediatrician and marry the man of my dreams and have kids and live somewhere I love. I still would love that but it isn't that easy. I still plan on going to medical school and I would LOVE to be a doctor but I might want to postpone taking the MCAT and take a year off and do some traveling and volunteer work and live life before I become a slave to my education for four years. This also means putting off a family for a while which is something I want more and more especially since my own family hasn't been the best. This summer has been especially trying seeing everyone go home to their families and being so happy and having a great time when all I want to do is go back to Utah and be with my friends who are more like family to me than anything. I spent this past weekend in Utah and it was by far the best weekend of summer so far. The people there genuinely care about me and I always have so much fun. New Mexico is so boring now and I haven't stayed close with too many people. Most of my high school friends haven't grown up at all, haven't started living life, hang out with the same people and do the same thing every night, and gossip because their lives are so boring and pathetic. I think going away to college has helped me grow and mature more than I though possible and I still have a long way to go. Also, my boyfriend easily gives me the best advice of anyone I know. He is the most intelligent and self-aware person I have ever met. The way he thinks about things is so different and in depth. I love him a TON! I could potentially see him being "the one" but it won't be for a while seeing as how he is going to University of Washington next year. I'm way bummed but now I can finally understand why. He isn't happy in Utah and doesn't feel like he has great friends there. He compared the way he feels in Utah to the way I feel in NM and it makes perfect sense. Anyways... I just have lots to think about and plan for and I am a person who loves knowing things in advance and being totally organized and having plans and knowing exactly what I am doing and right now I am confused and I hate it. I just think New Mexico is definitely not the place for me and there is nothing proactive I can do here so this summer is especially trying. Only one more month!

On a lighter note, I absolutely LOVE nannying so much and the kids are hilarious and we do such fun things like put on adhesive moustaches when we go bowling and make up Michael Jackson dances.

P.S. I absolutely love Park City, Utah :)

First Blog

2009-06-23T15:05:00.000-07:00

I decided to give blogging a try... Well I am currently home in Albuquerque nannying and trying to find another job. It's good to be home but I definitely miss Utah. I'm taking a trip to Utah this Thursday which will be a good break from the monotony of home. I just got back from a family trip to Las Vegas and Lancaster, California for my brother's soccer tournament. I have a new appreciation for my brothers and we have gotten a lot closer this summer and I love it. I'm not sure what else to write. More to come later!